No pretty pictures tonight......

I had a very strange experience tonight.  My family was driving down a major highway near our home and we noticed a woman standing on the corner of a busy intersection, pacing, twirling...acting strange.  My daughter said "look at that lady....and used a derogatory term for a drug addict".  We all assumed she was "on something" and kept driving.  About 45 minutes later we were back in the intersection turning into the shopping center to get dinner.  My daughter went inside to pick up the food and my husband and I noticed the woman again, pacing on the sidewalk in the shopping center.  She was yelling, to herself, twirling in circles and seemed to be in despair.  Still assuming she was high on something, I grabbed my phone and got out of the car.  She was clearly in another world.  She was talking fast....very disheveled.....thin as a rail.....bruises on her face.  I wondered if she might be a drug addicted prostitute.  I kept my distance way back and observed her.  People walked by, she tried to talk to some...they glanced and kept walking.  A few shop keepers stood in their doors with arms crossed.  I got closer to her and realized she really needed help.  She didn't seem to know where she was...her eyes were darting everywhere and she looked like a caged animal.   I called the police and told them "this woman is high on something.....she needs help".  I followed her through the parking lot, she was going nowhere.  she sat down, and started saying "Oh God!" over and over.  At this point I couldn't just stand by.  I knew the police were on their way.  By this time my daughter went to a bench to observe from a few feet away.  I approached the woman and asked her if she was ok.  She replied "no!" she was rocking back and forth and saying she was sick, and scared.  She started to gag several times.  She was almost hyperventilating.  I asked her her name and she told me.  She was holding a cellphone.  I asked if there was anyone she could call and she just glanced wildly at the stores, people and cars.  I asked if I could call for help and she said YES!  She started to cry and said I'm so embarrassed....I don't know whats wrong....I asked her if she had "taken anything" and she said just my medicine.  I thought....oh yeah, I'm sure.  .I called the police again and said HURRY!  They were there but couldn't find us.  She had her cellphone on her lap....her dad was on speaker phone yelling WHERE ARE YOU....she kept saying I don't know! He sounded frantic.  I kept leaning over the phone saying "It's ok...I've called for help" but I don't think he could hear me.  Finally the police came, four officers.  As they approached me I asked them to get her phone and speak to her father....one of them did.  I pulled one off to the side and said "she's very erratic, I'm sure she's on something, she's gagging, hyperventilating......maybe she OD'd on something....the officers told me, "no, we know her very well....she's schizophrenic. 

From Wikipedia:

A person diagnosed with schizophrenia may demonstrate auditory hallucinations, delusions, and disorganized and unusual thinking and speech; this may range from loss of train of thought and subject flow, with sentences only loosely connected in meaning, to incoherence

I felt so horrible.  I'd judged this woman as being so many awful things.  Mental illness never once crossed my mind.  Drug addict yes...prostitute maybe....but to see her so scared and confused and frightened, and crowds of people walking by IGNORING her......I just couldn't believe my eyes.  I wondered what would have happened to her if I'd just gone on my own way.....would she have been hit by a car?  would she have become lost in the dark and froze?  When I left the scene I felt like I'd saved her.  I also felt like crap for judging her.

Don't assume you know the story.  Stop and ask. and listen.

Comments

[Kristen]

I'm so glad to hear you stopped to help. That story makes me so sad for her & people like her~ we can't even begin to imagine what that world must be like.
Good for you for helping...I think more people should :)

[tammyCA]

It's definitely a different world these days. You never know if someone might harm you just for being a good Samaritan. You did the right thing by calling the police and keeping a distance. While I was reading the post I thought the girl might be autistic...they have a lot of similar characteristics as mental illness & they are really good at 'escaping' their homes & wandering off & not aware of danger, like cars.

[Claudia Hill]

I just read your post and wanted to say how wonderful you were to this poor, frightened woman. Thank God you went past your initial reaction and found out the truth. We do all assume, don't we? And it is not right. Your gut guided you to make the right choice.

Thanks for the reminder to 'not assume anything about anybody'.

[Dede Warren]

Bravo Robin, I agree with what everyone has said already. No one wants to get involved, because you never know when things can go horribly wrong and lead to danger. They don't want lawsuits, or to come the target of harm themselves. But you did the right thing, watching, and observing, and realizing something was very wrong, and calling for help. You were an angel on earth for her and her family. Bless you sweet Robin!!

[Kana Conger]

You were kind to help her, don't be so hard on yourself.

[Kathy]

I had a sister with schizophrenia. As someone who worried and prayed so many times that some kind soul would help her if she needed it, all I can say is, everyone is somebodys daughter, sister, mother, child. The mentally ill are in a prison that they didn't ask for and cannot escape. You did the right thing. You did the compassionate thing. You were there for her. Thank you.

[Bettsi]

Good for you! You did an awesome thing, Robin. You need to create a collage to remember it by. My mother was a high functioning schizophrenic. She was a single mom. It was a scary childhood at times. I've often wished that more people would have come alongside us and helped us, but there is so much stigma attached to mental illness. We usually tried to keep it a secret. Brava to you, dear, for helping and sharing.

[Dime Store Thrift]

I am so glad you stopped. People have such fear of this, things they don't understand. God put you in the right stop to reach out. And how horrible for her Dad on the phone to not be able to get to her. Poor thing.

[Rosa]

So scary. I took in a friend who was bipolar (I think she really was schizo). After about a month of caring for her and her not taking her meds, she turned on me and the kid with a knife. It was a horrible experience and quite an eye opener. The brain is a scary place. I have never got over the attack. But, in a way, I am glad my kids saw it first hand so maybe they can use the experience some how. Not happy about the attack, but we all learned about mental illness in that month. Scary stuff. Good for you to be the only one to help her. You never know what they may do and you could have saved her life. You're a good person. (like I didn't know that already)

[Stephanie Coop]

Read the post and thought about our society and it saddens me. I don't think that poor women would have made it far from home, let's say in the 70's, her neighbors someone would have come to her aid, before she got far from home. I am trying not to judge people so fast, still being wise but,reaching out more to those around me. Even just a smile or a nod can make the difference.

[gail]

Bless you for helping her! God put you in the right place at the right time, you were her angel. And it is human nature to 'assume' we know what people are going thru. Don't feel bad, you helped her, that is what counts!! Your wings are sparkeling!

[barbara]

Boy, don't beat yourself up for judging. You had no way of knowing what the issue was. More importantly, you didn't ignore her. Pats on the back for you, Robin!

[Jen]

You should feel really great that you helped her, so sad how wrapped up people are in their own lives that they don't stop to help someone clearly in distress.

[oliveoyl64]

People are scared to get involved because they are afraid of lawsuits. That family will never know you, but be sure they are grateful that someone stopped and got involved.
You did a good thing!!!!

[Di]

I think our TV shows and constant CNN news has desensitized many people... they just don't want to get involved anymore and generally think the worst when they see someone in her condition. It's a sad sad world some days...

Thank you for trusting your true instincts, having a caring heart and helping this woman. You're a gem!

Di
The Blue Ridge Gal